Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Unrest [After Dark Horrorfest Series]


Of all the films from the After Dark Horrorfest that played in 488 theaters across the country last fall, none had more potential than "Unrest." It was filmed on location in an actual sprawling hospital complex in Utah that's so big it has hallways that stretch on for over a mile. Using real cadavers and body parts to tell the story of a haunted morgue, all written and directed by a former medical student, it sounded amazing. I was ready for unprecedented realism exploring a horror angle relatively untapped; after all, how could you go wrong with real bodies? But what I got was real all right…a real bore.

Alison Blanchard (Corri English) has just started her first day of Gross Anatomy class, where she must confront a whole mess of cadavers and her own disabling fear of mortality. On the initial day of class, students are divided into groups of three and assigned their fourth group member, a cadaver whom they'll be spending the rest of the semester with. Upon her first glance of the body, Alison knows that something is wrong with it, and we learn that Alison has "the shine." Her very British professor chalks it up to first-year jitters and a lack of tea in her system. Then he pops out of his chair and runs Benny Hill style out of the room. If only I were joking, and I am. "Unrest" is just so boring that even writing about it is putting me to sleep.

After one of Alison's friends turns up dead in the basement, she realizes that maybe drinking all that tea wasn't going to help her after all. She decides to find out the truth behind the origin of her mysteriously scarred cadaver. Those foolish enough to have paid attention to the cheesy opening scene know it´s some wacko art school chick with serious daddy issues that lead her to become a "cutter." Or maybe she was possessed, I don't remember, or care. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that every minute that passes while one watches "Unrest" only counts for thirty seconds in the real world. That's the scientific reason for why the eighty-eight-minute running time for "Unrest" feels like almost three hours.

While the atmosphere and general sense of uneasiness is decent, and both the real and prosthetic bodies look great, they can't save the scenes they're not in. While I'm willing to allow stupid teenagers or ignorant people to make idiotic choices in horror movies, I have a hard time when somebody who made into Med school makes the same decisions. If there was an appropriate sound effect for "eyes rolling," it would have been playing in my mind repeatedly throughout "Unrest." By the time Alison and her friend have disrobed and climbed into a giant tank filled with hazardous formaldehyde and dead bodies to escape a ghost-induced explosion, I thought my retinas were going to pop.

Of all the films from the After Dark Horrorfest that played in 488 theaters across the country last fall, none had more potential than "Unrest." It was filmed on location in an actual sprawling hospital complex in Utah that's so big it has hallways that stretch on for over a mile. Using real cadavers and body parts to tell the story of a haunted morgue, all written and directed by a former medical student, it sounded amazing. I was ready for unprecedented realism exploring a horror angle relatively untapped; after all, how could you go wrong with real bodies? But what I got was real all right…a real bore.

Alison Blanchard (Corri English) has just started her first day of Gross Anatomy class, where she must confront a whole mess of cadavers and her own disabling fear of mortality. On the initial day of class, students are divided into groups of three and assigned their fourth group member, a cadaver whom they'll be spending the rest of the semester with. Upon her first glance of the body, Alison knows that something is wrong with it, and we learn that Alison has "the shine." Her very British professor chalks it up to first-year jitters and a lack of tea in her system. Then he pops out of his chair and runs Benny Hill style out of the room. If only I were joking, and I am. "Unrest" is just so boring that even writing about it is putting me to sleep.

After one of Alison's friends turns up dead in the basement, she realizes that maybe drinking all that tea wasn't going to help her after all. She decides to find out the truth behind the origin of her mysteriously scarred cadaver. Those foolish enough to have paid attention to the cheesy opening scene know it´s some wacko art school chick with serious daddy issues that lead her to become a "cutter." Or maybe she was possessed, I don't remember, or care. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that every minute that passes while one watches "Unrest" only counts for thirty seconds in the real world. That's the scientific reason for why the eighty-eight-minute running time for "Unrest" feels like almost three hours.

While the atmosphere and general sense of uneasiness is decent, and both the real and prosthetic bodies look great, they can't save the scenes they're not in. While I'm willing to allow stupid teenagers or ignorant people to make idiotic choices in horror movies, I have a hard time when somebody who made into Med school makes the same decisions. If there was an appropriate sound effect for "eyes rolling," it would have been playing in my mind repeatedly throughout "Unrest." By the time Alison and her friend have disrobed and climbed into a giant tank filled with hazardous formaldehyde and dead bodies to escape a ghost-induced explosion, I thought my retinas were going to pop.

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