Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Primeval


The best part of this "Primeval" DVD package is the slipcover. I found it beautifully illustrated and handsomely embossed, done up in a fancy metallic finish. Very attractive.

Then, there's the movie.

"Primeval" is not beautiful, handsome, fancy, or attractive. It's not even metallic or embossed. It's just dull.

The movie's preface reads, "The following story is inspired by true events," as if its being based on "true events" makes the film any better. Be that as it may, the movie takes the expected liberties in telling its tale of tracking a giant crocodile. That's right; despite the picture on the cover, which makes "Primeval" look like a dinosaur picture, it's actually about the hunt for a big croc. Apparently, the filmmakers based their movie on an account of the circumstances written by Mike McRae, a contributing editor to "National Geographic Adventure," and published in 2005.

Here's a link to the article if you'd like to read the real story: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/news/gustave-primeval/article.html

Yes, a team went to Africa looking for a legendary man-eating crocodile, and, yes, a civil war was going on in the country at the time. Beyond that, a viewer should look to the words "inspired by" as their key to understanding the nature of the film.

Plot: A huge blood-thirty crocodile, nicknamed Gustave, is eating people in the African country of Burundi. A newspaper publisher sends a team to investigate and bring back the croc alive. The team has more trouble with a local civil war in Burundi than with the big reptile.

Characters: The team consists of five persons. There is Tim Manifrey (Dominic Purcell), a stouthearted, square-jawed, supercool newspaper reporter. We know he's cool because he wears his shirt half open and sports a perpetual stubble. Next, there is Aviva Masters (Brooke Langton), a beautiful, animal-rights journalist who gets to have her blouse torn open. Then, there is Steven Johnson (Orlando Jones), a jokester photographer, the designated comic relief. After him is Matt Collins (Gideon Emery), a TV-famous herpetologist, a guy who studies reptiles, who wants to capture the croc for the good of science. And, finally, there is Jacob Krieg (Jurgen Prochnow), a craggy-faced crocodile hunter and guide who wants only to kill the beast. Somehow, the filmmakers overlooked having an Asian, a Hispanic, and a Native American in the group.

Conflict: The croc is smarter than the humans. Good thing, too, or we wouldn't have a picture. Unfortunately, there is not enough croc story to go around and fill out a ninety-minute movie, so the characters become involved in an action subplot with local warlords and insurgents. It doesn't work, as the subplot is exaggerated and clichéd. Worse, not once but twice does the croc itself become an unintentional hero. There are other improbable coincidences in the film just as silly.

Themes: The movie suggests that Gustave the crocodile grew large (twenty feet) and hungry feeding off the corpses dropped into the river during the Burundi civil war. Therefore, it's not his fault; it's Man's fault that things went wrong. Seems we're always screwing things up. Personally, I blame it all on global warming.

Settings, costumes, music: The filmmakers went to South Africa to film "Primeval," and many of the shots there are quite striking. If this were a documentary in high definition, it might have worked. Otherwise, everything in the film looks like everything in every other film set in modern Africa. This could as easily have been "Blood Diamond" as "Primeval." And the music is so generic, I cannot remember if there was any. Well, I lie. Whenever the director wants to intensify the action, he turns up the soundtrack music, whatever the music sounds like.

Direction: Michael Katleman helmed the film. He worked in the mid-to-late 1980s as an assistant director and then in the 1990s and early 2000s as a TV director. "Primeval" is his first big-screen directorial effort, so he's worked his way up and deserves the job. Unfortunately, he's stuck with a script that relies so heavily on hackneyed situations, there is not a lot he can do with it. Filming on location helps a good deal, but not enough to save the picture.

Impressions: Most of "Primeval" is looking at a bunch of people as they walk and talk, and then waiting for something to happen. When the action does come, it's predicable, unlikely, and mundane. It functions like a low-grade "Jaws," with a bit of "The Usual Suspects" thrown in at the end. The only things missing are the excitement, the humor, the characterizations, and the suspense of those other films.

Trivia note: Supposedly, the largest crocodile ever recorded measured twenty-three feet. It was not Gustave.

The best part of this "Primeval" DVD package is the slipcover. I found it beautifully illustrated and handsomely embossed, done up in a fancy metallic finish. Very attractive.

Then, there's the movie.

"Primeval" is not beautiful, handsome, fancy, or attractive. It's not even metallic or embossed. It's just dull.

The movie's preface reads, "The following story is inspired by true events," as if its being based on "true events" makes the film any better. Be that as it may, the movie takes the expected liberties in telling its tale of tracking a giant crocodile. That's right; despite the picture on the cover, which makes "Primeval" look like a dinosaur picture, it's actually about the hunt for a big croc. Apparently, the filmmakers based their movie on an account of the circumstances written by Mike McRae, a contributing editor to "National Geographic Adventure," and published in 2005.

Here's a link to the article if you'd like to read the real story: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/news/gustave-primeval/article.html

Yes, a team went to Africa looking for a legendary man-eating crocodile, and, yes, a civil war was going on in the country at the time. Beyond that, a viewer should look to the words "inspired by" as their key to understanding the nature of the film.

Plot: A huge blood-thirty crocodile, nicknamed Gustave, is eating people in the African country of Burundi. A newspaper publisher sends a team to investigate and bring back the croc alive. The team has more trouble with a local civil war in Burundi than with the big reptile.

Characters: The team consists of five persons. There is Tim Manifrey (Dominic Purcell), a stouthearted, square-jawed, supercool newspaper reporter. We know he's cool because he wears his shirt half open and sports a perpetual stubble. Next, there is Aviva Masters (Brooke Langton), a beautiful, animal-rights journalist who gets to have her blouse torn open. Then, there is Steven Johnson (Orlando Jones), a jokester photographer, the designated comic relief. After him is Matt Collins (Gideon Emery), a TV-famous herpetologist, a guy who studies reptiles, who wants to capture the croc for the good of science. And, finally, there is Jacob Krieg (Jurgen Prochnow), a craggy-faced crocodile hunter and guide who wants only to kill the beast. Somehow, the filmmakers overlooked having an Asian, a Hispanic, and a Native American in the group.

Conflict: The croc is smarter than the humans. Good thing, too, or we wouldn't have a picture. Unfortunately, there is not enough croc story to go around and fill out a ninety-minute movie, so the characters become involved in an action subplot with local warlords and insurgents. It doesn't work, as the subplot is exaggerated and clichéd. Worse, not once but twice does the croc itself become an unintentional hero. There are other improbable coincidences in the film just as silly.

Themes: The movie suggests that Gustave the crocodile grew large (twenty feet) and hungry feeding off the corpses dropped into the river during the Burundi civil war. Therefore, it's not his fault; it's Man's fault that things went wrong. Seems we're always screwing things up. Personally, I blame it all on global warming.

Settings, costumes, music: The filmmakers went to South Africa to film "Primeval," and many of the shots there are quite striking. If this were a documentary in high definition, it might have worked. Otherwise, everything in the film looks like everything in every other film set in modern Africa. This could as easily have been "Blood Diamond" as "Primeval." And the music is so generic, I cannot remember if there was any. Well, I lie. Whenever the director wants to intensify the action, he turns up the soundtrack music, whatever the music sounds like.

Direction: Michael Katleman helmed the film. He worked in the mid-to-late 1980s as an assistant director and then in the 1990s and early 2000s as a TV director. "Primeval" is his first big-screen directorial effort, so he's worked his way up and deserves the job. Unfortunately, he's stuck with a script that relies so heavily on hackneyed situations, there is not a lot he can do with it. Filming on location helps a good deal, but not enough to save the picture.

Impressions: Most of "Primeval" is looking at a bunch of people as they walk and talk, and then waiting for something to happen. When the action does come, it's predicable, unlikely, and mundane. It functions like a low-grade "Jaws," with a bit of "The Usual Suspects" thrown in at the end. The only things missing are the excitement, the humor, the characterizations, and the suspense of those other films.

Trivia note: Supposedly, the largest crocodile ever recorded measured twenty-three feet. It was not Gustave.

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