How do I know thee? Let me count the ways. In the beginning, there was the television series, which lasted for most of our lifetime and which Warner Bros. have reissued on about eight hundred discs with sets for every season. Then there was the 2005 motion picture, which you'll find in widescreen, full-screen, HD-DVD, rated, and unrated. Now, there's the 2007 video-première prequel, "The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning." And if that's not enough "Dukes" for you, there are always the CD soundtrack albums. Despite their omnipresence, I can't say I've grown any more fond of these fellows over the years than when they were first on TV.
The prequel takes us back to square one, as the title indicates. Or as the narrator tells us, "This is how Bo and Luke became the Dukes of Hazzard." The story begins when the boys are still in their teens and still trying to learn to drive, if that's the word for it. Just as the 2005 movie included nobody from the original series, this direct-to-DVD prequel includes nobody from the TV series or the film, with the exception of Willie Nelson, who reprises his movie role as Uncle Jesse. He doesn't seem to be having as much fun this time around, though. Then, again, neither are we.
Jonathan Bennett and Randy Wayne play the teenaged Bo and Luke, respectively, and true to Hollywood tradition, both actors were in their mid twenties when they made the film. Worse, however, is that one couldn't imagine two more humdrum characters. Not that the actors are entirely to blame; the script gives them practically nothing to do but punch each other incessantly and go crazy every time they see a pretty girl. And since pretty girls fill the movie, you can see where that leads.
April Scott now plays Daisy Duke, at a time when Daisy was still a virgin (yes, it was that long ago), still going to Bible School, still wearing glasses, and still dressing like a boy. Then she discovers short shorts and it's a completely different ball game, at least for her if not for the poor audience. Interestingly, the moment she dons the shorts, she doffs the glasses forever. I had not realized until now the direct correlation between short shorts and improved eyesight, so I guess you learn something new every day. Yeah, I realize it's all part of the fun, something like the way Indiana Jones needs glasses when he's a college professor but has perfect vision when he's an adventurer. Only in Hollywood, right?
Anyway, it's up to the supporting characters to bring the movie to life, and, sadly, they're not up to the task. As I've said, Willie Nelson returns as Uncle Jesse, but this time he's strangely subdued. In the plot, because the two cousins, Bo and Luke, are constantly getting into trouble with the law, the State turns them over to their uncle for a summer of hard work on the farm. Which is exactly what Uncle Jesse intends for them, with no time off and no imbibing of the farm's moonshine booze. It's a film of curious moral standards, with Uncle Jesse refusing the boys hard liquor but encouraging their dalliances with the ladies. Yet even here, the film is oddly prudish. The unrated edition features probably a few more bare breasts than the R-rated version and a few more sexual innuendos, yet there is no actual sex in the film, no full-frontal nudity, and hardly a profanity in sight. It's as though the filmmakers wanted to make something just a little bit naughty but not offensive, slightly risqué but still politically correct. If you cut about two minutes from this film, it could probably air on the Christian Network.
Other supporting characters are just as colorless as the stars. Christopher McDonald plays Boss J.D. Hogg to little effect, apart from simply being there. Ditto with Harland Williams as the moronic Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, who keeps pulling out his gun on people with one hand while carrying a hound pup in the other. And Sherilyn Fenn plays Lulu Hogg, Boss Hogg's sexed-starved wife, who has the thankless task of trying to act sexy while stuffing a turkey. It is only Joel Moore as the underdog Cooter, auto mechanic supreme, who provides the film with any semblance of spark. He seems to understand that the film is idiotic and plays his part accordingly.
The prequel takes us back to square one, as the title indicates. Or as the narrator tells us, "This is how Bo and Luke became the Dukes of Hazzard." The story begins when the boys are still in their teens and still trying to learn to drive, if that's the word for it. Just as the 2005 movie included nobody from the original series, this direct-to-DVD prequel includes nobody from the TV series or the film, with the exception of Willie Nelson, who reprises his movie role as Uncle Jesse. He doesn't seem to be having as much fun this time around, though. Then, again, neither are we.
Jonathan Bennett and Randy Wayne play the teenaged Bo and Luke, respectively, and true to Hollywood tradition, both actors were in their mid twenties when they made the film. Worse, however, is that one couldn't imagine two more humdrum characters. Not that the actors are entirely to blame; the script gives them practically nothing to do but punch each other incessantly and go crazy every time they see a pretty girl. And since pretty girls fill the movie, you can see where that leads.
April Scott now plays Daisy Duke, at a time when Daisy was still a virgin (yes, it was that long ago), still going to Bible School, still wearing glasses, and still dressing like a boy. Then she discovers short shorts and it's a completely different ball game, at least for her if not for the poor audience. Interestingly, the moment she dons the shorts, she doffs the glasses forever. I had not realized until now the direct correlation between short shorts and improved eyesight, so I guess you learn something new every day. Yeah, I realize it's all part of the fun, something like the way Indiana Jones needs glasses when he's a college professor but has perfect vision when he's an adventurer. Only in Hollywood, right?
Anyway, it's up to the supporting characters to bring the movie to life, and, sadly, they're not up to the task. As I've said, Willie Nelson returns as Uncle Jesse, but this time he's strangely subdued. In the plot, because the two cousins, Bo and Luke, are constantly getting into trouble with the law, the State turns them over to their uncle for a summer of hard work on the farm. Which is exactly what Uncle Jesse intends for them, with no time off and no imbibing of the farm's moonshine booze. It's a film of curious moral standards, with Uncle Jesse refusing the boys hard liquor but encouraging their dalliances with the ladies. Yet even here, the film is oddly prudish. The unrated edition features probably a few more bare breasts than the R-rated version and a few more sexual innuendos, yet there is no actual sex in the film, no full-frontal nudity, and hardly a profanity in sight. It's as though the filmmakers wanted to make something just a little bit naughty but not offensive, slightly risqué but still politically correct. If you cut about two minutes from this film, it could probably air on the Christian Network.
Other supporting characters are just as colorless as the stars. Christopher McDonald plays Boss J.D. Hogg to little effect, apart from simply being there. Ditto with Harland Williams as the moronic Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, who keeps pulling out his gun on people with one hand while carrying a hound pup in the other. And Sherilyn Fenn plays Lulu Hogg, Boss Hogg's sexed-starved wife, who has the thankless task of trying to act sexy while stuffing a turkey. It is only Joel Moore as the underdog Cooter, auto mechanic supreme, who provides the film with any semblance of spark. He seems to understand that the film is idiotic and plays his part accordingly.
How do I know thee? Let me count the ways. In the beginning, there was the television series, which lasted for most of our lifetime and which Warner Bros. have reissued on about eight hundred discs with sets for every season. Then there was the 2005 motion picture, which you'll find in widescreen, full-screen, HD-DVD, rated, and unrated. Now, there's the 2007 video-première prequel, "The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning." And if that's not enough "Dukes" for you, there are always the CD soundtrack albums. Despite their omnipresence, I can't say I've grown any more fond of these fellows over the years than when they were first on TV.
The prequel takes us back to square one, as the title indicates. Or as the narrator tells us, "This is how Bo and Luke became the Dukes of Hazzard." The story begins when the boys are still in their teens and still trying to learn to drive, if that's the word for it. Just as the 2005 movie included nobody from the original series, this direct-to-DVD prequel includes nobody from the TV series or the film, with the exception of Willie Nelson, who reprises his movie role as Uncle Jesse. He doesn't seem to be having as much fun this time around, though. Then, again, neither are we.
Jonathan Bennett and Randy Wayne play the teenaged Bo and Luke, respectively, and true to Hollywood tradition, both actors were in their mid twenties when they made the film. Worse, however, is that one couldn't imagine two more humdrum characters. Not that the actors are entirely to blame; the script gives them practically nothing to do but punch each other incessantly and go crazy every time they see a pretty girl. And since pretty girls fill the movie, you can see where that leads.
April Scott now plays Daisy Duke, at a time when Daisy was still a virgin (yes, it was that long ago), still going to Bible School, still wearing glasses, and still dressing like a boy. Then she discovers short shorts and it's a completely different ball game, at least for her if not for the poor audience. Interestingly, the moment she dons the shorts, she doffs the glasses forever. I had not realized until now the direct correlation between short shorts and improved eyesight, so I guess you learn something new every day. Yeah, I realize it's all part of the fun, something like the way Indiana Jones needs glasses when he's a college professor but has perfect vision when he's an adventurer. Only in Hollywood, right?
Anyway, it's up to the supporting characters to bring the movie to life, and, sadly, they're not up to the task. As I've said, Willie Nelson returns as Uncle Jesse, but this time he's strangely subdued. In the plot, because the two cousins, Bo and Luke, are constantly getting into trouble with the law, the State turns them over to their uncle for a summer of hard work on the farm. Which is exactly what Uncle Jesse intends for them, with no time off and no imbibing of the farm's moonshine booze. It's a film of curious moral standards, with Uncle Jesse refusing the boys hard liquor but encouraging their dalliances with the ladies. Yet even here, the film is oddly prudish. The unrated edition features probably a few more bare breasts than the R-rated version and a few more sexual innuendos, yet there is no actual sex in the film, no full-frontal nudity, and hardly a profanity in sight. It's as though the filmmakers wanted to make something just a little bit naughty but not offensive, slightly risqué but still politically correct. If you cut about two minutes from this film, it could probably air on the Christian Network.
Other supporting characters are just as colorless as the stars. Christopher McDonald plays Boss J.D. Hogg to little effect, apart from simply being there. Ditto with Harland Williams as the moronic Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, who keeps pulling out his gun on people with one hand while carrying a hound pup in the other. And Sherilyn Fenn plays Lulu Hogg, Boss Hogg's sexed-starved wife, who has the thankless task of trying to act sexy while stuffing a turkey. It is only Joel Moore as the underdog Cooter, auto mechanic supreme, who provides the film with any semblance of spark. He seems to understand that the film is idiotic and plays his part accordingly.
The prequel takes us back to square one, as the title indicates. Or as the narrator tells us, "This is how Bo and Luke became the Dukes of Hazzard." The story begins when the boys are still in their teens and still trying to learn to drive, if that's the word for it. Just as the 2005 movie included nobody from the original series, this direct-to-DVD prequel includes nobody from the TV series or the film, with the exception of Willie Nelson, who reprises his movie role as Uncle Jesse. He doesn't seem to be having as much fun this time around, though. Then, again, neither are we.
Jonathan Bennett and Randy Wayne play the teenaged Bo and Luke, respectively, and true to Hollywood tradition, both actors were in their mid twenties when they made the film. Worse, however, is that one couldn't imagine two more humdrum characters. Not that the actors are entirely to blame; the script gives them practically nothing to do but punch each other incessantly and go crazy every time they see a pretty girl. And since pretty girls fill the movie, you can see where that leads.
April Scott now plays Daisy Duke, at a time when Daisy was still a virgin (yes, it was that long ago), still going to Bible School, still wearing glasses, and still dressing like a boy. Then she discovers short shorts and it's a completely different ball game, at least for her if not for the poor audience. Interestingly, the moment she dons the shorts, she doffs the glasses forever. I had not realized until now the direct correlation between short shorts and improved eyesight, so I guess you learn something new every day. Yeah, I realize it's all part of the fun, something like the way Indiana Jones needs glasses when he's a college professor but has perfect vision when he's an adventurer. Only in Hollywood, right?
Anyway, it's up to the supporting characters to bring the movie to life, and, sadly, they're not up to the task. As I've said, Willie Nelson returns as Uncle Jesse, but this time he's strangely subdued. In the plot, because the two cousins, Bo and Luke, are constantly getting into trouble with the law, the State turns them over to their uncle for a summer of hard work on the farm. Which is exactly what Uncle Jesse intends for them, with no time off and no imbibing of the farm's moonshine booze. It's a film of curious moral standards, with Uncle Jesse refusing the boys hard liquor but encouraging their dalliances with the ladies. Yet even here, the film is oddly prudish. The unrated edition features probably a few more bare breasts than the R-rated version and a few more sexual innuendos, yet there is no actual sex in the film, no full-frontal nudity, and hardly a profanity in sight. It's as though the filmmakers wanted to make something just a little bit naughty but not offensive, slightly risqué but still politically correct. If you cut about two minutes from this film, it could probably air on the Christian Network.
Other supporting characters are just as colorless as the stars. Christopher McDonald plays Boss J.D. Hogg to little effect, apart from simply being there. Ditto with Harland Williams as the moronic Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, who keeps pulling out his gun on people with one hand while carrying a hound pup in the other. And Sherilyn Fenn plays Lulu Hogg, Boss Hogg's sexed-starved wife, who has the thankless task of trying to act sexy while stuffing a turkey. It is only Joel Moore as the underdog Cooter, auto mechanic supreme, who provides the film with any semblance of spark. He seems to understand that the film is idiotic and plays his part accordingly.
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